Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Days 5-10--Monitored

So really I just want to tell you about Day 5, Friday.  Day 6-10 were uneventful, unless you want me to tell you how everyone morning I wake up with my heart monitor that hangs around my neck in my hands like it's a cell phone.  I didn't think so..not really that funny, but alas true.

Day 5: Friday (insert SVU music again)

So Friday, interesting day.  In the morning I was leaning over my one little tyke's desk and I kind of fell forward, moving her desk.  I then started telling a teacher in there that I felt funny, like foggy.  They, knowing about my heart issues,  told me I should go see the nurse.  While walking to the nurse I started feeling like the walls were moving and I was not.  Like every step I took I was on a seesaw.  Up and down up and down up and down.  It felt like the longest walk of my life in that moving hallway.

So I go see the nurse and she suggests I call my heart doctor. So I call--they say either go to the ER or come get your echo at 2:00 and you can see the heart doctor. So I say I'll hold out until 2:00.

While driving home I feel the same sensation, that the cars around me are moving but I am not.  Like I was in a tunnel.  So, I start to consider the fact that I might actually be insane.  Like, something is not right and I know it's not logical.  I kept asking myself "is this logical?" and the answer very clearly was "no, the cars and your car is moving idiot".  My brain said that to me...(so maybe I am in fact insane in the membrane).

Yada yada I make it to my echo and the electrocardiogram-ist comes in and takes my blood pressure.  She leaves and comes back and says "The nurse says if you still feel dizzy go to the hospital".  Wait, what happened to me seeing a doctor?  Hell, even a nurse?  Instead of the sent messages.  I would have preferred she write it on a note that said:  Do you still feel dizzy? Circle YES or NO.  Then we could have passed notes back and forth like third graders.  At least it would have been nostalgic.  I digress...

I get to the ER and my moms friend meets me there because she works in the hospital.  The lady behind the desk asks for symptoms and name.  My moms friend says "her mom is on her way" to which the woman responds with a confused look "why, how old are you?"  Ughh embarrassing--I need my mom to speak for me DUH.

So I leave after my echo and I call mom dukes, DD, who says just go to the ER.  I go--wait in the waiting room for 1 hour and 30 minutes probably.  Which is shocking, because I told them I had a heart monitor on--which I assure you no one asked or cared about in that ER (which shall remain nameless).  I am going to say the odds are in my favor that they didn't have any other 26 year olds that day with a heart monitor on.  SO MAYBE I HAVE A REAL PROBLEM AND YOU SHOULD CALL ME BACK TO SEE A DOCTOR.

So...eventually after DD requests it they call me back.  Sit on the bed for an insane amount of time until a nurse acknowledges my existence.    After, and only after, she finished her personal conversation we could hear about her pregnancy.  Great your pregnant, no I don't want to touch your belly, let's move on.

She comes in, DD (my personal speaker) gives her the scoop and tells her about my Lyme's Carditis.  She puts the EKG machine on and says my heartbeat is normal. DD says no it's not.  This goes back and forth for awhile.  Nurse prints out EKG and shows a doctor who also says it's normal--DD says no it's not (DD is the charge nurse in a hospital, she knows her EKG's).

Another hour passes and a doctor comes in. HALLELUJAH, and I'm not even religious.   So, maybe it was dress down day at the hospital.  He had on black jeans and a cheesy short sleeve button down.  I expected someone from Gray's Anatomy, or at least as hot as a cast member, to walk in with their scrubs on and a scrub hat surgeon deal.  You know those scrubs where I could see their muscles underneath because after a 12 hour shit they workout and are impeccably sculpted and hot.  No--not this guy.  Not this doctor in his black jeans and stupid short sleeve button down.  Disappointment flooded my face, and my heart monitor. 

DD, my personal speaker, starts telling him all of my ailments.  He starts saying the word "allegedly" a lot.   "Allegedly you have lyme's disease"  "Allegedly you have Lyme's Carditis"  BOT BOT BOT.  (bot bot bot is the Italian way to say yada yada yada).   I wanted to say sir doctor man, what is it your alleging?   So black jeans orders a bunch of tests and a scan of my cat.

They tell me pee in this cup, were going to take some blood, your going to get an IV which will leave a huge bruise like a heroin addicts track mark,  and you'll get your cat scanned.

1 1/2 more hours pass.  The nurse passes by often but doesn't acknowledge me.  Talk about customer service.   She didn't even pop in and say "you're next on the list honey, can I get you some water or crackers?"  At this point I've been here since 2:00pm and it's 8:00pm now. Some graham crackers would have been nice lady--I KNOW YOU GOT THEM SMALL PACKS WITH MINI GINGER ALE CANS FOR THE DIABETICS!  I know this because my mom also works in the hospital so when I would go visit her at work she'd give me some of those goods.  It's the shop rite brand ginger ale but I still like it anyway.  Cheap date.

So black jeans comes back around 9:00pm, my cat's fine, they scanned it.  He says you can get a spinal tap to  see if you have Lyme's Meningitis in the brain, allegedly,  but it's going to be treated with the same medicine you are already on.  NO THANK YOU.  Let's keep my spine untapped. I think I saw that on My Sister's Keeper and it looked painful.  I don't do well with pain.  Or being hungry apperentaly because my mom said I was a whiny patient.

Have you guys seen DD yet?  She's my rock, and through my health issues she's also my personal assistant.  Here she is:
This picture is way too close. Looks a little funny.  But that's okay.  Look at how white my teeth are? My friends will get that because sometimes when I drink I show off my pearly whites.  Look how big my sunglasses are too.  One day in college a frat guy told me one day it'll be one big lense that just covers my entire face to keep the sun off.

This my dad, in case your wondering how I got so hot:





Obvi the person, not the dog. The dog is a lil menace we like to call Jackson.