Monday, March 24, 2014

81 Things Girls Need to Hear from Someone Other than their Mother's

          In thinking,  my mom told me a lot of stuff.  Like,  a lot.  I learned most of what I know today from DD.  Big shout to DD,  you are an amazing mother.  However,  you know when your young,  you don't listen.  Period.  There is no exception to that.  You are as likely to listen to your mother as you are to stay up all night trying to learn Vietnamese. Not. Gonna.  Happen.  So,  I think everyone needs someone else unrelated to same the same exact thing to them,  in a more blunt fashion.  I am just the person for that job.

  1. Don't Drive Like an Asshole.  Seriously,  Keesha does not need to be at max volume and you don't need to be driving and "texting with your bitches".  Watch the road.
  2. Use protection.  STD's and Babies last a lifetime.  That's just self explanatory.
  3. Try your damndest to not get pregnant  before you can support a child.  I mean,  YOUR DAMNDEST.  
  4. It's okay if he doesn't love you.  Someone else will.
  5. This too shall pass.
  6. Be motivated.  There is nothing more annoying to hard working, motivated women then women who are lazy.
  7. Get a job.  Any job.  Just earn a living.
  8. May God give you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change,  the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
  9. Be happy with what you have.  So, your car is a 1996 Saturn or a 1990 Chevy Lumina (been there, done that) at least you have a hoopdy.  COULD. BE. WORSE.
  10.  Talk like you have some sense.  No seriously, not for "sears".
  11. Have fun.  Party.
  12. If you do happen to drink,  take two Tylenol before sleep.  It will save your ass the next day.
  13. With that, don't get drunk on work nights.
  14. Take advice from people who have "been there, done that".  They already have the upper hand.
  15. "Shorts and Uggs".  No.  Just stop it.  That fashion statement does not make sense.
  16. "Shorts and Uggs" needs two numbers.  Your hot, but your also cold?  We don't get it.
  17. Live with a purpose.  Do something, anything.  But make your life worth living.
  18. Be adventurous.  Just go out and do something unexpected.  You will have stories to tell later.
  19. Don't tell your mom everything.  Believe me, she does not need to know some things.
  20.  Don't judge a book by it's cover.  The most unexpected people also have a story to tell.
  21. Eat food.  Skinny and deprived of nutrients went out in the 80's.
  22. Learn something weird and share it with people.  Like,  that the character Jay Gatsby is based off of the life of Al Capone. 
  23. You don't always get what you want, but you always get what you need.
  24. Be interesting.  Potted fern plants should be boring, not people.
  25. Never depend on anyone else for your own happiness.  People do not think of others happiness as frequently as they think of their own.
  26. Pay your bills on time.  Bill collectors are a pain in the ass to deal with.
  27. No one is going to buy the cow if your giving the milk away for free.
  28. Never change for a man. 
  29. Again, this too shall pass.
  30. Men do not do or say things with the intention of pissing you off.  No hidden conspiracy theory.  They just say and do things, because they do.
  31. At a certain age, switch over to higher quality liquor.  Any jug of vodka that costs $3.99 is going to cause you some real issues the next day.
  32. Be respectful of police.  They aren't out to get you.  They are out to keep you safe. Remember that.
  33. TAKE NAPS.  Past 25 naps are few and far between.  Take advantage while you still have the time.
  34. Take suggestions from others.  This can be anything from movies,  shows, etc.
  35. Camp out on the couch and watch more than one season of a show.  
  36. Learn how to cook.  Something, anything.  It ain't hard.  Follow my recipes.
  37.  Pajamas are for sleep.  They are not for grocery stores, Wawa, CVS, etc.  FOR SLEEP ONLY.
  38. Volunteer.  
  39. Take every person's advice with a grain of salt.  Your going to do what you want anyway.
  40. You cannot base your life off of others expectations of you.  Regret is a hard thing to deal with at 99.
  41. Be a better listener than a talker.  
  42. People do not want your honest opinion of them.  They may say they do, but they will be mad when you give it.
  43. Somethings are better left unsaid.
  44. Be present physically and mentally in every single moment.  They only happen once.
  45. Have a plan and adjust accordingly.  You cannot predict every single outcome.
  46. Have an outlet---something crafy, some sport, some exercise program,  yada yada.
  47. When the workday is done, it's done.  Don't take how you feel at work home with you.
  48. Tomorrow is a new day.  
  49. You will make at least one mistake everyday, learn from it.  
  50. Listen to children.  They are meant to be seen and heard.  This goes back to the toy phone--if a child hands you one, pretend to answer it.
  51. Be kind to strangers.  Not so kind that you end up in a trunk in another state.  Kind enough to let the world know your not self centered.
  52. Your mom is going to say "One day you'll thank me".   She's probably right. Just go with it.
  53. Some things are better left unsaid.
  54. No question is stupid if you really don't know the answer (I onetime thought a ham was an animal--like a ham walking around with little ham legs).
  55. Learn how to love unconditionally and accept unconditional love.
  56. Do things without the expectation of something in return.
  57. Be a good listener.  So, turn down Keesha or Nicky Minaj when someone else is speaking.
  58. Put your phone down and enjoy life.  Otherwise, future generations are going to just evolve into mammals with only opposable thumbs so they can text.
  59. Duck faces are only for drinking, not for real life.   
  60. Be nice to animals.  They are defenseless. 
  61. Laugh as much as you can.  A life lived without laughter is not a life worth living.
  62. Try your hardest to not drunk dial or text.  No one wants to wake up in the morning with 55 texts they cannot understand.
  63. Do not let yesterday ruin today.  
  64. Don't let peoples ideas of who you should love, define who you actually fall in love with.
  65. Love who you want, it's your life.
  66. Don't discuss politics or religion over dinner, drinks, or with people who are drunk.  That is like sparking World War 3.
  67. Hating someone and expecting them to care is like hammering toothpicks under your nails and expecting someone else to feel the pain.
  68. Not everyone deserves the title of "friend".
  69. You will have a couple really close friends for life--cherish them.  A couple good friends is worth more than a 100 shitty ones.
  70. If your life revolves around seeking revenge on someone who has hurt you,  you might as well dig two graves.
  71. When someone says "I'll pray for you" in a malicious way, just smile. 
  72. Let it go.
  73.  Other people's life styles are none of your business.  We all live in glass houses, don't throw stones.
  74. Gay people have the right to marry just as much as you have the right to breathe.
  75. Mark Wahlberg is god.  Don't you ever try to argue that.
  76. Beer on tap is always cheaper then bottled beer.
  77. Losing a pet is just as bad as losing a person.  It will hurt like holy hell, but,  like all things--this too shall pass.
  78. Your mother is right.  Usually.  If not, don't argue--she'll always win.
  79. Go places, but remember where you came from,  Home is truly where the heart is.
  80. The heart is one of those amazing human body parts that can still function broken.  A broken heart is not the end.
  81. In the end, the people who matter will be by your side if all should come crashing down.

Friday, March 21, 2014

Sausage and Peppers Italiano

I went on a red sauce tangent just recently. Ciopino,  Sausage and Peppers,  Sauce, etc.  It was nuts.  I just couldn't stop myself.   I went HAM.  Or as I say to my students "What the ham samwich".  They get a laugh out of that one.  As well was "cheeseandrice", "oh soup", "oh suga!"  I say weird things to my students.  One time I said to my student (I was asking if she understood) "Ya dig?"  and she said "Sometimes at the beach with my mom."  Valid response,  I'll take it.  I digress...

Well my temporary insanity for red sauce based foods has passed.  So,  I'd like to share this recipe.  It's clean, paleo, yada yada.  Your not sacrificing taste on this one.    You could eat it on a roll with some melted cheese if you want, but I liked it without all that.  With that being said,  I'm not judging you if you do eat it on a roll with cheese.  I live for rolls.  Seeded ones specifically.    I limit them however, otherwise I'd eat a samwich 3 times a day everyday.  If loving rolls is wrong,  I ain't right.

Sausage and Peppers Italiano
Prep: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 1 hour
Serves: 4

1 pound (about 6 links) Sweet Sausage/Hot Spicy Sausage mix  (I buy the brand that has 3 of each in it)
1 red pepper, cut into strips
1 green pepper, cut into strips
1 yellow pepper, cut into strips
1 pound of sliced and cleaned white mushrooms
1 medium white onion, diced
3-4 cloves of garlic, diced
1 20 or more ounce can of diced tomatoes, with juice
1 tsp or more of red pepper flakes
1 tbsp of Oregano
1 tbsp of Fresh Parsley (can used dried but I think fresh ingredients have better taste), and more for garnish
Salt and Pepper, to taste
Grated Romano Cheese for Garnish

1.  Preheat a pan with 1 tsp of oil over medium high heat.
2. While the pan is preheating cut sausage into 1-2 inch slices.
3. Sautee 5-7 minutes until the outside is crispy brown.
4. Remove from pan, set aside.
5.  In the same pan add your peppers and onions,  allowing to sear in the fat from the sausage for about 7-9 minutes--until slightly browned.
6.  Add mushrooms to the same pan and do the same--allowing them to slightly brown. 
7. After all vegetables are browned add all seasonings, and season lightly with salt and pepper.
8.  Add garlic, allowing to cook briefly with vegetables for 1-2 minutes.
9.  Pour in entire can of diced tomatoes with juice.  Add back in the sausage and stir.
10.  Cover with lid and reduce the heat to low.  Cook on low for about 45 minutes to 1 hour, or until the sausage is no longer pink aside.
11.  Serve, garnishing with cheese and parsley. 

Monday, March 10, 2014


If you love seafood, you are in for a treat.  Ciopinno is a classic fish stew that is made through every nationality.  This happens to be my favorite kind!  My sister made it for me once a couple years back and I have been obsessed ever since.  While the ingredients can be expensive,  it is worth the money.  You really cant beat the smell of tomatoes, garlic, and fresh seafood.  It's a rather quick meal too,  but your company would think it took your hours.    It would be wonderful served with a toasted hearty bread rubbed with garlic and better.  Or a crusty loaf for dipping.

This is very healthy (clean eating, Paleo) and fresh, so there is no guilt here!  Indulge!

Prep: 10 minutes
Cook Time: Roughly 50 minutes
Serves: 4 large portions

1 white onion, diced
1 stalk celery, diced
1 large shallot, diced
2 cloves of garlic, diced
1 tbsp butter
1 tbsp oil
1 tsp red pepper flakes, or more to taste
1 tsp parsley, and more for garnishing
1 tsp oregano 
Salt and pepper to taste
2 cups beef broth or stock (homemade preferably)
1 can diced tomatoes, with juice
1 cup clam juice
1 cup diced roasted red peppers (from a jar soaked in water is fine)
1 pound fresh halibut or cod (has to be a thick white fish), cut into thick chunks
1 pound shrimp, cleaned, tails removed, and divined
1 pound sea scallops (not bay scallops, they shrink way too small for this hearty dish)
1 pound fresh mussels, cleaned and scrubbed--shells left on for presentation

Already you are thinking this has a lot of ingredients.  Most of it you should have in your house,  your big purchases should only really be the seafood which will run you about $20.  Purchase it when it is on sale (white fish goes on sale about every two weeks), and frozen mussels are pretty cheap.

1.  Heat olive oil and butter in a deep pan over medium high heat until melted.
2.  Add your diced onion and celery--allow to cook for about 10 minutes until brown.
3. Add your diced shallots, garlic, and diced peppers, stirring frequently until soft--about 5 minutes.
4. Once browned and soft add in diced tomatoes with their juice and beef broth.
5.  Season with salt, pepper, oregano, and parsley.  
6. Reduce heat to simmer with a partially closed lid and allow to cook for approximately 45 minutes. Sitr frequently.
7. Stir in 1 cup of clam juice and allow to cook for 5 more minutes.
8.  Once reduced add your scallops and white fish, cover partially and cook for 5 minutes.
9. After 5 minutes stir in (lightly, don't break up the fish) your shrimp and cleaned mussels and cook for about 5 minutes.
10.  When the mussels open up it's done.  Any mussel that did not open on it's own throw away--IT'S BAD!  You should at least have one or two of these.

 Serve with shells for presentation.  Garnish with cheese and more parsley.