Monday, August 26, 2013

27 Things to Remember in your 20's

As the 27th Anniversary of my birth quickly sneaks up on me, I thought it might be good to share some of my knowledge.  I am about to drop some wisdom on you that I've gained over the years. Ya dig?

27 Things to Remember in your 20's
(in no particular order)

27. Spend and Save Equally
      I don't believe in saving an entire paycheck, but I do believe in having money set aside for a rainy day.  In my life there has been monsoons on occasion that I needed that money for.  But, I also don't deny myself the things that I want.  Why do you ask?  Because you could die at any moment, so get the damn shoes.  
26. Give back
     Money comes and money goes.  Remember to help those who do not have what you have.  At this age men are more attracted to women who give back as opposed to women who take, take, take.
25. It's okay to be chubby
         I am chubby.  Always have been, always will be.  I wasn't meant to be a size 0.  Matter of fact, last time I was when I was an infant and my mom dressed my in toddler 0-3 month clothes.  It's okay!  I am perfect in other ways, and I am damn sure STILL BEAUTIFUL.  Don't let someone give you a false idea of who you should or shouldn't look like.  Try looking just like yourself.  Make sure to tell yourself your beautiful.
23. The people you love you will eventually lose
      By the age of 15 I had been to more funerals then I can even count.  Drugs, suicide, accidents, old age, etc.  Remember, the people you love need to know it.  Tell them and show them as often as you can.  One day you might not be able to.
22.  Work out hard
       Enjoy working out hard and letting your body recover.  This is something we need to take advantage of in our 20's,  because it'll get harder and harder with each passing decade.
21.  If you want the shoes, BUY THE SHOES
     Now,  I am talking about the $60 fabulous pumps you happened to pass at Macy's today which will perfectly top off your Sexy Saturday night outfit.  I am however not talking about the $550 Christian Louboutin pumps you saw at Nordstrom today.  You are not Carrie Bradshaw, keep it under wraps girl.
20.  No matter how you feel---get up, dress up, and SHOW UP
      The rudest thing you can do is RSVP and not show up.  Come on,  someone is paying for you to be there.  The least you can do is get over your hangover, get in the shower, put on your face, and get there.  There should be a dramatic emergency if you ain't showing up--like going into labor,  being called away overseas for the Navy,  or dire medical emergency which causes you to in surgery.
19. It's okay to have children when you are not married
      Don't get caught in the trap that the only fit mother is a married mother.  That is absolutely not true.  I know a couple amazing single mothers.  However, DO NOT bring a baby into this world that you cannot afford.  Make sure if your going to lay down and get it on you can afford the responsibilities.  I am a firm believer 16 and pregnant is the worst thing that happened to this society.
18.  The following should never be in an email to any coworker, even if you feel that said person is your equal---u, wtf, lol, omg, ttyl, ty, etc. (even etc).
     Come on people, text is not a language yet.  So don't use it in work related emails.  You are capable of typing out entire words, act like it.  Also, lol is NEVER ACCEPTABLE.  Don't even think  about it.  
17.   Stupid is not cute
       Stupid hasn't been cute since bubble gum and 8th grade.  Don't act like you are stupid, unless you are truly stupid and you can't help it.  Then, roll with it. Remember what Animal House taught us--DRUNK AND STUPID IS NO WAY TO GO THROUGH LIFE.
16.  Your mood should never dictate your manners
       No matter how bad you feel, you shouldn't take it out on others.  That's not fair to you, or to them.  It will give them a bad impression of you.  First impressions are everything and you only get one shot at them.  As human we are not afforded the gift of being a total asshole everyday.  Get it together and treat others as you would like to be treated---#goldenrule
15. One of the most powerful tools you have is a thank you card
      The US Postal System is the most under utilized tool we have at our disposal.  Take advantage of it.   Writing a thank you note gives other people an awesome feeling when they open it.  It also shows someone you cared enough to write with a pen, and not two thumbs on a text message.  Also, texting someone "ty" (thank you) lacks some shock value.
14. Value who you are, not who you are not
      So many people are trying to be who they are not when who they are is readily at their disposal.  Try doing that for awhile, you won't disappoint.
13. Be funny, REALLY FUNNY
      Humor is the one tool which gets us through every tough situation.  If you can't be funny, be pretty.  If you can be both do that.  If you can't be either, be a nun.  People get out of the way of nuns.
12. Go on a ton of shitty first dates
       Take it from me, I am a self proclaimed serial dater. I've been on so many good and bad dates I can't even name them all.  I plan to write about them one day when I can get all my funny stories together.  What I've learned is,  you have to go on bad first dates to appreciate good first dates--and hopefully second and third dates.  He/she is out there somewhere, you just have to be willing to search a little.  Remember, your not single--your selective.  Do not settle--marrying someone you do not love will be the most expensive mistake you ever make.
11. Whiten your teeth once in college with Crest White Strips
       One time in college I whitened my teeth.  ONE TIME YOU HEAR.  It hurt to breath in my teeth were so sensitive for two weeks after. However, my smile has been white ever since that day.  It only took one time.  That shit could end global war if we just gave it to our enemies. Nothing makes me happier than a bright white smile.
10.  You can never be over dressed
       The sexiest thing about a man is when he is well dressed. Take heed women, you need to do the same.  If your going out, go out in style.  Make sure every single part of your outfit looks good and rock the shit out of said outfit.  You will never regret looking fly. 
9. You can never be over educated
       Next to being dressed well and being funny the second or third sexiest thing is a man/woman with an education.  Someone who can talk a good game and can back up their thoughts.  No one wants to spend time with someone who is a doughdough bird.  When I say education, I mean any kind of job education.  I don't care if you are a construction worker as long as you can talk about your job and express interest in someone else's profession.
8. It's okay to not know all of the answers
     If you don't know the answer to something the best answer you can give is "Can I look into that and get back to you tomorrow?" Especially at work.  If you don't know an answer don't just make one up.  Google is the most powerful tool the world gave us--people will know when you have no frikkan idea what your talking about.  
7. Hate is like poison
     Hating someone else is the worst thing you can do to yourself.  It's like drinking poison and expecting the person you hate to die.  It's silly.  It will drag you down.  Let go-----The best thing you can do is to let go of the past.  Like I said, hating someone won't hurt them.  Let go and move forward.  It's better to forgive and forget then it is to forgive and hold on to the past. Holding on is just holding you back.
6.  Drinking and Driving is not Cute 
       We all had our moments at 21 when we said we were fine.  But, as you get older you need to start understanding the risks you pose when you drink and get behind the wheel.  Most likely, you won't die but you'll end up killing someone else.  Also, no one will pity you if you get a DUI at 27.
5. Have at least three great loves in your life
     Every time you allow yourself to fall in love you will learn from it.  You will eventually heal from the heartache when it ends, but the lessons you learn you will carry with you for the rest of your life.  Ask Sonny from A Bronx Tale (my favorite movie of all time):

Sonny to C: "You gotta do what your heart tells you to do. Let me tell you somethin' right now. You're only allowed three great women in your lifetime. They come along like the great fighters, every ten years. Rocky Marciano. Sugar Ray Robinson. Joe Louis. Sometimes you get 'em all at once. Me? I had my three when I was 16. That happens. What are you gonna do? That's the way it goes, you know? Tell you right now. See this girl? Maybe this girl, she put wind in your sails. Maybe she's your first great one."

4.  Go REDNECK CRAZY,  but only ONCE.  (Tyler Farr- Redneck Crazy) 
Gonna drive like hell through your neighborhood
Park this Silverado on your front lawn
Crank up a little Hank
Sit on the hood and drank
I’m about to get my pissed off on.

I’m gonna aim my headlights into your bedroom windows
Throw empty beer cans at both of your shadows
I didn’t come here to start a fight
But I’m up for anything tonight
You know you broke the wrong heart, baby
And drove me redneck crazy


     It's okay to go ape shit if you find out he/she is doing you dirty, but recover quickly.  It's okay to go buck ass wild,  as long you can reign it back in and get your wits back about you.  Don't throw empty beer cans though, they won't even cause a dent : ).
3. Fighting is for people under 18
      Women, it is not classy to fight, name call, or threaten other women.  The only people who should get into fights are those who can't be federally prosecuted. Remember, you have too much to lose.
2.  Ages 21-23 are for getting "wasted"
       After that age range, it's not cute anymore. No one is going to pity you---but instead they will talk about how much of a jackass you looked like for years after.  My theory at this age is it's okay to get drunk once a year, and only in AC (ask my friends).  But past that,  2-4 drink max.




1. Everyday is a gift, WAKE UP AND UNWRAP THAT SHIT
       Not everyday is promised, remember that.  Remember to live life and enjoy every second you got on this earth.