Your Only Competition should be.....YOU

       It's come to my realization that just about everyone I know is competing against someone else.  Everyone is trying to be better then someone else in the gym--faster, stronger, etc.  Why?  That's a losing battle.  I, on the other hand,  only compete against myself.  Last night, I almost lost sight of that.

       Last night was the dreaded "Angie"---100 of four exercises--pull ups, push ups, sit ups, and squats.  I got in my head I was going to only focus on pull ups, because it is my weakness.  I had my coach, Joe, with me and I told him to no rep me every time my little kip didn't get my head over the bar.   See, kipping is my problem.  My first kip doesn't get me over the bar, and my second one does.  It's really quite annoying.  But, alas, I need to work on it.  Gymnastics is not my strength.  Nothing really with my hands is my strength.  When I was a kid my mom wanted us to play the piano.  She had a piano teacher teach me and Talia both.  Talia excelled (what isn't she good at? so annoying).  In my case, the piano teacher told my mom maybe I should quit.  Why? Because I sucked.  Talia can still play Mary Had a Little Lamb on the piano.  How far will that get her in life? No where.  I'm just as well not knowing how to play the stupid old piano.  Oh, wooden jesus, wooden jesus. 

        I digress...Do you know how many pull ups I did? I'd venture to say at least 150.  However, only 34 of them were complete reps.   Most people were using bands and slowly chipping away at that beast of a workout.  Not me.  I was there for 25 minutes doing pull ups.  34 good RX pull ups to be exact (and 116 incomplete reps I remind you).   I was disappointed in myself.  One, because I forgot to take care of my hands pre-wod. See below:

         That's only my left hand. My right hand looks worse (if you can get worse then mangled). Imagine taking one of those big old standing cheese graters out, and instead of grating cheese, grating your hands.  One day later and all I can do is keep my hands flat. I cannot curve them.  I woke up this morning to my left one bleeding because I must have been moving too much.  Imagine, moving too much in your sleep can make you bleed. 

        Your probably thinking two things 1. Your insane 2. That seems pointless.  Maybe your right.  But it is my goal to be better than I was when I started crossfit.  Did I want all of my reps to count? Absolutely. In reality though, that wouldn't make me any better at pull ups.   It would only teach me to continue to half ass my pull ups, and never giving me the opportunity to have someone help me address what is wrong with them.

        I worked my ass off for every single pull up, those that counted and those that didn't.  Someone actually asked my while bandaging my hands "That's as far as you got?" and gave me a face.  I was so disappointed after that, that I actually teared up on the way home thinking of how bad I did. I was thinking how stupid I should have just done the WOD and not worked on any skill.  I shouldn't have pushed myself to do those correct pull ups. I should have used a band like everyone else or did incomplete reps like other people.

     Then Talia, like she always does, brought me back down to earth.  I needed her to remind me who I was competing against.  I wasn't there to show everyone how good I was at crossfit. I was there to learn, to improve, and to not be the person I was November 2012.   I will never be that person I was one year ago today.  That's the person I need to beat--NOBODY ELSE.

That person on the left didn't love herself. The one on the right does.

         It took me one year from the time I started to learn how to do pull ups correctly. I'm still not even there yet.   But, I am not going to give up on something I need to learn just so I can beat other people in the gym. Nothing gymnastic is my strength. My strength is literally my strength. 

I'll never be a gymnast.  But, if you stack up about 8 gymnasts I bet you I can push press them, bench press them, and dead lift them.